snap culture: January 2005

  1. Watch for falling frozen feces William, 1/30/2005
  2. The limo war William, 1/30/2005 31 comments
  3. puffy would be proud ben, 1/29/2005 1 comments
  4. i need a change of pants ben, 1/27/2005 0 comments
  5. the logical next step ben, 1/27/2005 5 comments
  6. Be the Sports Guy's intern William, 1/27/2005 0 comments
  7. Gotta be a first... ben, 1/26/2005 3 comments
  8. Television killed the sports column William, 1/26/2005 0 comments
  9. Local Man in the news William, 1/26/2005 0 comments
  10. Product Placement William, 1/26/2005 1 comments
  11. I'm so happy, I feel like a little girl William, 1/23/2005 0 comments
  12. Glory days William, 1/21/2005 0 comments
  13. The latest, greatest Internet activity William, 1/19/2005 0 comments
  14. Internet killed the radio star William, 1/18/2005 0 comments
  15. zoom-zoom ben, 1/17/2005 1 comments
  16. Eyes off the prize William, 1/17/2005 1 comments
  17. Adieu, Serena Sam, 1/16/2005 1 comments
  18. Aim high, Part 2 Sam, 1/16/2005 0 comments
  19. to shuffle or to shovel? ben, 1/16/2005 0 comments
  20. Words of warning! William, 1/16/2005 0 comments
  21. Making a pitch (in this case, a change-up) William, 1/14/2005 0 comments
  22. That's Rich William, 1/14/2005 0 comments
  23. So M in YMCA stands for Museum? William, 1/13/2005 0 comments
  24. the culture gap might be wider than we think ben, 1/11/2005 4 comments
  25. Enjoy your flight! William, 1/11/2005 1 comments
  26. Wrestlemania William, 1/11/2005 1 comments
  27. Food Porn William, 1/11/2005 0 comments
  28. Splitsville William, 1/08/2005 1 comments
  29. Aim High! ben, 1/07/2005 1 comments
  30. Brit with a funny accent William, 1/07/2005 1 comments
  31. Yankees Suck (We Hope) William, 1/07/2005 1 comments
  32. Mistakes were made William, 1/06/2005 1 comments
  33. Catching up William, 1/05/2005 3 comments
  34. In and Out for 2005 William, 1/01/2005 3 comments

1/30/2005

poop iceIt's not every day that frozen feces drops from the sky and smashes your 1993 Toyota Corolla. Nina Gambone, of Leominster, MA, heard what sounded like an explosion the other day. When she looked outside, she saw that a beach ball-sized block of frozen human waste had totaled her car. (At right, her son holds blocks of the icy substance, which he later regretted.) Turns out a plane with a leak near the bathroom had accumulated human waste on the side of the plane, and when the plane began to descend for Logan Airport in Boston, the chunk warmed up enough to fall from the plane.

Luckily, the FAA is looking into the matter to determine which airline was responsible. William

1/30/2005 Add a comment

Because this year's Super Bowl is in Jacksonville, Florida, hardly the hip metropolis, there is a scramble to come up with enough super-stretch limos, Hummers, and Excursions to meet demand. One limousine company, AA Susie's Limousine, discovered some of its fleet had been broken into and had its plasma TVs stolen. The owners suspect that the competition performed the raid in an effort to harm their business. William

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  12. Anonymous Anonymous: Choosing the right Bed: Bedcare
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    Don�t leave polythene wrappings on a new mattress - dampness, mildew and rotting could all result from a build-up of condensation.
    Vacuum your mattress and base from time to time to remove fluff and dust. This should be carefully done so as not to dislodge fillings or damage tufts. Open windows while vacuuming -especially if there is an asthma sufferer in the house.
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1/29/2005 Add a comment

to be used in the Iraq election ad campaigns

(link via metafilter) ben

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1/27/2005 Add a comment

scary ass birdThe new Arizona Cardinals new logo is a tough bird. Ooooh, I'm terrified by a cardinal!

Maybe it's me, but it looks more...Asian. Other differences we learn from the article:
old beak: yellow
new beak: gold

old face: less streamlined
new face: more streamlined

old bird: unlikely to pull a gun on you
new bird: might pull a gun on you ben

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1/27/2005 Add a comment

Foto: DivulgaçãoI guess it was only a matter of time. Seven or eight top European soccer clubs are interested in a Nine Year Old kid from Brazil. Jean Carlos Chera, 4-foot-6, 77 pounds, is apparently quite the soccer player. He's been tearing up the 13-14 leagues. Aside from the slight height and weight disadvantages if he plays in Europe, he definitely needs a cooler name. Like Ronaldinhoinho, a.k.a. little Ronaldinho. though from the photo i'm guessing he'll be more like Kakinho, a.k.a. little Kaka. Let's see which happens first, he hits puberty or becomes a millionaire.

Man, if only I could invest in stuff like this kid. I would have put lots of money on Michelle Wie 5 years ago, money on Freddy Adu about 5 years ago too, money on Kevin Garnett before them...I'd be loaded. Except that I'd be broke from putting it all on Ronnie Fields...damn...

*Update* According to this soccer website, JC Chera goes by the name Anderson. Hmm, maybe he's Norweigan. Not nearly as cool as Kakinho. I can't find the damn video anywhere... ben

Comments

  1. Anonymous Anonymous: the J.C. Chera video can be found at:

    http://www.vkmag.com/media/jeancarlos.wmv

    and alternatively, here:

    http://www.www.amii.nl/jean_carlos.wmv

    this kid kicks ass...

    J.
    1/29/2005  
  2. Blogger ben: holy crap that kid is amazing. I love the fact that it's his team that made the video as a marketing ploy. And the music is entertaining, the overtones to him being "the savior" are I believe obvious. I think I liked the flick over the defender's head, then running half the field and burning the keeper the best. Or maybe the one where he dribbled the ball into the net. Incredible ball control and shot accuracy. 1/30/2005  
  3. Blogger William: I love his pro-level celebrations, including the one of the kid shining his shoe. 1/30/2005  
  4. Anonymous Anonymous: Check the blog about this phenomenon kid

    http://jeancarlosfootball.blogspot.com/

    Video can be seen here too...

    http://www.bercasio.com/football/jean_carlos.wmv.htm
    1/30/2005  
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1/27/2005 Add a comment

Bill Simmons is looking for help. If only I were a little younger and a little less employed. William

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1/26/2005 Add a comment


This is a new low for our society...H&R Block is sponsoring a Double Your Refund Instant Win Game to try to get people in the door before the April 15 rush.

Because as we all know, you should treat your federal tax refund like another thing to gamble with. Disgraceful. These firms already prey on EITC filers and offer usurious rapid refund loans. Now they're trying to make you think that tax filing with them could be your chance to win free money. One more reason the payday loan companies and tax filing services are ripping off the American people. Glad they found a new scam.
ben

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1/26/2005 Add a comment

Word. William

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1/26/2005 Add a comment

A celebration of Local Man, the guy not famous enough to get his name in the headline. Long ago, the Onion grabbed onto this newspaper phenomenon and has parodied it to great effect ever since, although often writing about his brother, Area Man. William

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1/26/2005 Add a comment

Friend of Snap Culture, and now occasional This American Life contributor, David Segal writes about Jonathan Cheban, one man who puts the Evian bottles and Lean Cuisines in the hands of celebrities and gets the pictures in US Weekly. It's quite sickening, actually. William

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1/23/2005 Add a comment

William

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1/21/2005 Add a comment

You may never have heard of him (which is indicative of what happened to his basketball career), but Steve Dixson is the greatest basketball player I've ever played with or against, and this includes Tyron Lee (Mizzou), Jeff Walker (Iowa, before getting kicked out), Sergio McClain (Illinois), and Marcus Griffin (Illinois). (Because of timing and the decline in my own Central IL HS basketball career, I missed the chance to play against Frank Williams, of Illinois and now with the Bulls, Brian Cook, of Illinois and now with the Lakers, and Andre Iguodala, of Arizona and now with the 76ers.)

In any case, it's worth noting that Steve Dixson stood shoulder-to-shoulder against these guys. He was silky-smooth and had a knack for finding both the ball and the basket. As a person, he was always a little shy, if friendly, but sometimes had a mischevious smile on his face. I think that smile, or what was behind it, is what cost him his career. William

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1/19/2005 Add a comment

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1/18/2005 Add a comment

So did hip-hop, station consolidation, Spanish, and satellite radio. Rock and Roll isn't dead on the radio, and it may never die (which should please Neil Young), but it sure is withering on the vine. Many cities are now able to support just one rock station. This resembles one of my favorite "what if" questions: What happens to "Oldies" radio when the Baby Boomers die? William

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1/17/2005 Add a comment

It's great to see that the NY Times is giving props to my beloved resurgent Bulls and in particular point guard Kirk Hinrich, who I thought would never amount to anything. He has proved me more than wrong, averaging 16 points and 7 assists a game and putting the Bulls in the 8th playoff spot if the season ended today. Also he looks like the kid from the Mazda commercials. Let's hope the Bulls keep on rolling with a win over the Knicks this afternoon. ben

Comments

  1. Blogger William: You are right! He does look like the "Zoom Zoom" kid! And yes, finally the one team Ben and I both agree on (despite growing up in the same state) is getting back to respectability. The Baby Bulls have become precocious adolescents. 1/17/2005  

1/17/2005 Add a comment

The filmmakers of "Eyes on the Prize," the classic civil-rights documentary, are bogged down with rights issues and can't release the film on DVD or show it on television. What remains are old VHS tapes that are wearing thin, with the rare copy up for sale on eBay at $1,500. Until the filmmakers can come up with the money to renew the rights to copyrighted film from the movie, it will continue to collect dust, and perhaps the current and immediate future generation of students will go through school without having seen firehoses turned on people or black students facing taunts as they try to attend school. William

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  1. Anonymous Anonymous: http://www.downhillbattle.org/eyes/

    It's now available online here, in open defiance of the copyright issues involved.
    1/27/2005  

1/16/2005 Add a comment

After four years as Assistant District Attorney, Law & Order's Serena Southerlyn came out (to viewers, at least) moments before disappearing from the series altogether.

District Attorney Branch (former senator/gruff character actor Fred Thompson) fired Southerlyn for getting too emotionally involved in her cases.

Southerlyn: "You're not firing me because I'm a lesbian?"
Branch: "No."
Southerlyn: "Good... good."
[Fade to black. Credits]

Sam

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1/16/2005 Add a comment

[Career Day] speaker, William Fried, a management consultant, told eighth graders at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School on Tuesday that stripping and exotic dancing could pay $250,000 or more a year, depending on the dancer's bust size. He told pupils, "For every two inches up there, you should get another $50,000 on your salary," said Jason Garcia, a 14-year-old student. [...]

Mr. Fried, 64, said he did not think he had offended any of the students. "Eighth-grade kids are not dumb," he said. "They are pretty worldly."

Sam

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1/16/2005 Add a comment

Concurrent with the elation after the Steelers win here at SnapCulture has been confusion over the proper nomenclature for the pass that Ben Roethlisberger threw to Hines Ward for the game-tying touchdown. It was a pass where the quarterback flips the ball forward, a pass that I have always called and heard called a "shovel pass", as you shovel the ball to the receiver. But in his recap of the game, ESPN.com's John Clayton calls it a shuffle pass, and Terry Bradshaw was calling it a shuffle pass on FOX's post-game highlights.

A little google research uncovers a raging debate in the football world, as found on the messageboards of the Redskins and Browns. Apparently the distinction or lack thereof has puzzled closed caption-writers for years. In fact, this author of football-coaching books claims that the phrase "shuffle pass" originated as a typo! Is this simply an oft-misspoken phrase or has it taken on a new meaning by those who (mis)use it? One barometer, the phrase "shovel pass" shows up on google 16,900 times, "shuffle pass" only 1,400. Either way, it'll always be a shovel pass in my book... ben

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1/16/2005 Add a comment

Don't be fooled by knock-off mariachi bands! William

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1/14/2005 Add a comment

Eric Liu learns how to throw a change-up from Mariners pitching coach Bryan Price. It's actually quite fascinating, and Liu is very good at writing down the details of a pitcher's thought process and Price's reasons for using the methods he uses. Well worth a read. William

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1/14/2005 Add a comment

Frank Rich hits another one out of the park with a commentary on the Armstrong Williams fiasco. If you haven't been paying attention, pundit Williams was paid $240,000 by the US Dept. of Education to shill for Bush's No Child Left Behind act. Williams followed orders to do so, but never disclosed his patron until USA Today dug it up.

Rich points out numerous other instances where Williams shilled for Bush on other matters and links it to other times the administration tried to pull something over on an unsuspecting media and public. William

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1/13/2005 Add a comment

If you're an American Indian who has gained some fame, and you really want to make sure your mark on American Indian culture is recognized, the Smithsonian's new National Museum of the American Indian seems like the logical place to turn, right? What if you are the Indian in the Village People? Turns out that's where Felipe Rose (the "Indian," who really is half-Lakota Sioux), went, too, donating his gold record to the museum in a ceremony yesterday. The real kicker, though, is that it immediately went into some dustbin in the suburbs for storage. Writer Hank Steuver says he doesn't know until when, but my guess is until the museum does an exhibit on semi-offensive stereotypes that includes all of the racist sports mascots (like the Cleveland Indians' Chief Wahoo, the Washington Redskins' logo, and, I'm so ashamed to point out, the University of Illinois' Chief Illiniwek). William

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1/11/2005 Add a comment

Living so close to the Canadian border, I get the CBC on my t.v. The other night it showed a movie titled, I shit you not, Men With Brooms. It was like "Rocky" meets curling. I only saw the last five minutes, but the final scene was of the three scrappy curlers winning on the final shot of the tournament by one of them throwing the stone so hard that it exploded on impact with the "evil" team's stone and a large chunk of their stone landed in the middle of the bulls-eye to give them the miraculous come-from-behind win.

The best part was when the underdog-guy lined up the shot, one of his teammates frantically said "Wait, what is he doing?" and the other teammate replied without missing a beat, "He's making poetry."

Poetry, indeed. The website has all the rules and history of curling, far more that you would ever, ever want to know.

My question to you is this...what sport hasn't been given the "Rocky" treatment? What sport deserves it most? least? I'm going to stick to the Winter Olympic theme and say the Biathlon. I want to hear the uplifting story of the tough-as-nails kid who was good at both shooting and skiing for no apparent reason but was from a down-on-his-luck family, and then had to go up against the rich (and hence evil) biathletes at the junior nationals. Other suggestions? ben

Comments

  1. Blogger William: Yes, your biathlete would have crafted his makeshift skis from wooden fence posts, and learned to shoot with a homemade slingshot.

    I think an even better one might be a modern pentathlon movie, including learning to ride a horse on a wooden rocking horse.

    Also, what's astonishing was that Leslie Nielsen is in the movie! I didn't even know that Canada made movies (although I do know that many Hollywood movies are now shot in Canada), and that they managed to get someone as talented as Leslie Nielsen! Tell me this, had he died in the movie with 5 minutes left? I'd put even money on the old guy dying of some terminal disease, which then sparked the scrappy underdog team to victory.
    1/12/2005  
  2. Blogger ben: Leslie Nielsen must have been dead, so they could win one for old dead Leslie Nielsen. Either that or they dressed him up in a plaid shirt and beard and I didn't recognize him, which is possible but highly unlikely.

    Also the bad guys had some SS-looking uniforms and state-of-the-art brooms, while the good guys wore jeans and plaid shirts and had brooms that you find behind the refridgerator.
    1/12/2005  
  3. Anonymous Anonymous: I'm Canadian and I saw "Men with Brooms" the other night, too. Unfortunately, I sat through it all. Bottom line: It sucked. (For that matter, so does curling.) It watched it through because of the talented cast involved, hoping it would get better. Believe it or not, if you only saw the last five minutes, you wouldn't have known there was actually a dead guy's ashes inside that exploding stone.

    Some may recognize Molly Parker, currently starring in HBO's "Deadwood."

    By the way, there are plenty of absolutely great Canadian films. Check it out on IMDB.COM sometime.

    My personal favorite: "Black Robe", the story of a Jesuit priests first encounters with Native Canadians in the 1600's. A little brutal, but the scenery alone is worth the price
    1/14/2005  
  4. Blogger William: The dead guy's ashes were in the exploding stone? That's hilarious! (Somber, of course, but hilarious.) 1/14/2005  

1/11/2005 Add a comment

Passengers at New Delhi's Indira Gandhi international airport were treated to the sights and sounds of a porn flick on the terminal's televisions the other day, just when passengers were getting ready to depart. It was midnight, after all, but that's when most of the flights bound for Europe happen to depart. I think the most surprising thing is that it remained on for 20 minutes! Some reports say it was part of an AIDS awareness campaign. (via Today in the Sky) William

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1/11/2005 Add a comment

A high-school wrestler in the Washington area has attained an 8-7 record without the use of legs, because he has none.

One potential advantage for Trevon Jenifer, and one that may cause some to question the propriety of his wrestling, is that he has the upper body of a 180-pounder, but weighs in under the 103-pound lowest weight class, so he has generally more arm and torso strength than his opponents. William

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1/11/2005 Add a comment

Hardee's, the fast-food hamburger chain, has reinvented itself as a guy's type of place. None of this girly girly emphasis on salads or yogurt or whatnot. (Or in Hardee's former life, fried chicken and roast beef.) Just ground beef and lots of it. Like how about the new double thickburger, which has 2/3 lb. of meat, 4 slices of cheese, 3 strips of bacon, mayo and a buttered bun. 1,420 calories and 107 grams of fat? That's obscene.

Some also think that their new ad campaign is obscene. It features nubile women stuffing things into their mouths (fist, straws).

Also from Slate recently, a writer with an idea to help NBA fans to distract opponents' free throws. William

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1/08/2005 Add a comment

So Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have separated. Oh, but don't worry, they "happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another," at least according to a statement released by their publicist. For just once, I wish a publicist would release a statement saying, "We have decided we hate each other's guts, and Jen can't stand the way Brad squeezes the toothpaste from the middle, rather than rolling from the bottom up. Brad thinks Jen is frigid."

Also, sometimes the tabloids get it right, even if the couple said their marriage wasn't on the rocks. Maybe not for the same reasons cited in print, but it seems like they were generally on the mark. William

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  1. Blogger ben: the cnn version has a link to video of "stunned" fans. ooh, celebrities separating! SHOCKER! i think liz taylor's 15 marriages should have dulled the surprise of these things for even the biggest celebrity-news suckers who read people cover-to-cover and actually give a shit. 1/08/2005  

1/07/2005 Add a comment

First baseman Doug Mientkiewicz has the ball that made the last out in the Red Sox world series win. The Red Sox organization wants it to put in their team museum. And Doug won't give it back. He claims he wants it for "sentimental value," and then adds, "But I can be bought. I'm thinking, there's four years at Florida State for one of my kids. At least."

Come on Doug, I think that ball will be worth a little more than 4 years at FSU! A ball from the 1975 WS just went for 113K. And don't you want your kids to aspire to a slightly better academic institution? Maybe I shouldn't ask... ben

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  1. Blogger Roberto Iza Valdes: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator. 11/19/2005  

1/07/2005 Add a comment

Britney is back online with a new letter to her fans. Guess what, y'all? Her doggies have their own room with a chandelier! And a dresser! (You may remember her previous letter, the much-better-publicized "Letter of Truth" explaining her "absence" from the spotlight.) William

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1/07/2005 Add a comment

Jayson Stark has five reasons why the Yankees (possibly, maybe) won't win the World Series next year. We can only hope. Oh, and the Yankee payroll for next season is at $207 million. Unbelievable. Can't we fold the team for a year and give that money to tsunami relief or something?

It's also possible that Steinbrenner is deficit-spending his way to a championship. Some of the Yankees finances don't appear to add up.

Dan Shanoff has the 2005 version of ESPN page 2's annual Hot/Not list.


William

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1/06/2005 Add a comment

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1/05/2005 Add a comment

The New York Times says SNL has lost it again, this time by spending too much time on trashy celebrity culture rather than offering cheeky political critique. It's the standard drumbeat to a slightly different tune. The article calls attention to whatevs.org, a very entertaining blog that I'll make a permalink one of these days.

Dave Barry says goodbye (for now) as he signs off on his column for awhile. It's true that he used to be a lot funnier. Perhaps it's because we've grown as humor appreciaters (appreciators?), but more likely it's because his style hasn't changed and he continues to rely on booger jokes. Booger jokes are so elementary school, and they aren't even ironically funny anymore. Steve Martin and Washington Post readers offer tributes. Martin's reads exactly like a washed-up Harvard Lampoon piece.

Writer/author Seth Mnookin offers up his tale of heroin abuse.
William

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1/01/2005 Add a comment

The Washington Post does its annual "In/Out" list, and lucky for us it's Hank Stuever doing it this year. They generally rotate the responsibility (and collaborate on the items), but Hank is usually the most forward-looking and with-it. (See section example below.) I saw another recent list in another publication that was a whole lot more conventional, and even tired.

We're into lists here at Snap Culture, so please let us know if you see other year-end lists worth mentioning.



William

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