10/03/2004 Add a comment

But Gretchen, you say, the playoffs haven't even started!

Doesn't matter. I remember last October--twelve nights spent pacing and praying, in bars and in my living room. I became a Red Sox fan in 1999, which makes me a baby compared to most fans. But I didn't become a real Red Sox fan until last October, when I hoped and prayed and sat on the edge of my seat and spent hours trying to get playoff tickets and wore the cap backwards and forwards and whichever way I thought would bring them the magic. I didn't become a real Red Sox fan until I was at a Lucinda Williams concert during one of the division series games against the As and found that I'd rather be in the back room, screaming for the Sox, than in the front room, rocking with Lucinda. I didn't become a real Red Sox fan until I realized that espn.com and mlb.com and redsox.com were the first sites I visited, every single morning.

The ALCS of 2003 broke my heart. We were so close. It should have been us.

In some ways I was relieved when baseball ended last year. I couldn't take the pressure, the tension! I was an emotional wreck! And now that we're going back in, I'm not ready for the pacing and the praying, another round of the edge-of-your-seat games. But I want to believe. I'm reading espn.com again; I'm watching NESN 24/7; I'm blocking out evenings for Red Sox games; I'm even tracking down the Red Sox fans with whom I watched that climactic fifth game in the division series. I'm just not sure I'm ready to go through this all over again.


  1. Blogger ben: Gretchen, you get no sympathy from my broken Cubs heart. We put together the best team we've had on paper since 1984, we're up a game on the wild card with a week left, and we lose 6 of 7 to blow it, three in extra innings, against teams that had nothing to play for. I'd rather be looking forward to the playoffs rather than wondering why my team self-destructed.

    Nonetheless, I'm of course rooting for the Red Sox now. For the next month I'll call him "Nomah" for you.
  2. Blogger William: Gretchen, your plight sounds a lot like The Sports Guy's a week or so ago. You have many fellow travelers.

    I can only be a half-traveler, as I will cease rooting for the Red Sox if they face the Cardinals in the playoffs.