8/02/2007 Add a comment

With all the hoopla about the Simpsons, I decided to try to come up with a list of the top 10 unnamed Simpsons characters ever. Sadly, the internet has made making this list all too easy, and a bunch of these characters have names, but no one uses them. I just found a wikipedia article which has few bonus details, so technically I'm cheating, if you want to be a jerk about it. Let me know what you think, in the comments:

10) Sarcastic guy - Calls everyone "Boy-o". Has a mustache. And thanks to the power of nerds, here's a list of every episode he's appeared in.

9) Pimple-faced, crackly voiced teenager - Works at all the fast-food places. After dropping Krusty's taco in the deep fryer: "But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she’d kill me!

8) Giant hand man - "I am sick and tired of the jokes about my giant hand. The first incident occurred in..."

7) Rich Texan guy - Usually shooting in the air, shouting "Yee-haw!"

6) Very tall man - Has a very small car, forces Nelson to walk around with his pants around his ankles while people laugh. Apparently based on Ian Maxtone-Graham.

5) Crazy old man - Bald, nearly toothless star of the "Crazy Old Man Dancers", who sing "the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be." Also has his pants around his ankles.

4) Hot dog vendor - When he shows up at the cemetery, Marge asks, "Do you just follow my husband around town?" He replies, "Lady, he's putting my kids through college!"

3) Comic book guy - Apparently they revealed his name in 2005, but I don't care. I'm concerned that he's changed his stripes. When about to die in an earlier episode, after talking to Aquaman about marrying someone on land, he says, "Oh, I've wasted my life." But in the movie, in the same situation, he hugs his comic books and says it's been a life "well spent." Worst. About-face. Ever.

2) Sea Captain - (Yes, he too apparently has a name) "Our precious cargo!" "You mean the hot pants?" "Aye, the hot pants."

1) Bumblebee man - "Ay ay ay, no me gusta!" ben


  1. Blogger William: I love very tall man. He's got a funny voice. Also, crazy old man is great, and I think I've seen him in episodes more frequently lately.

    What about crazy cat lady? She probably has a name, and I know she used to be normal.