snap culture: August 2004

  1. ben, 8/27/2004
  2. ben, 8/26/2004 5 comments
  3. ben, 8/24/2004 3 comments
  4. ben, 8/24/2004 0 comments
  5. William, 8/23/2004 0 comments
  6. ben, 8/20/2004 4 comments
  7. ben, 8/20/2004 0 comments
  8. William, 8/20/2004 0 comments
  9. William, 8/20/2004 1 comments
  10. ben, 8/19/2004 0 comments
  11. ben, 8/19/2004 0 comments
  12. ben, 8/17/2004 0 comments
  13. William, 8/17/2004 0 comments
  14. ben, 8/17/2004 0 comments
  15. ben, 8/16/2004 0 comments
  16. William, 8/16/2004 0 comments
  17. William, 8/13/2004 0 comments
  18. William, 8/12/2004 0 comments
  19. ben, 8/11/2004 2 comments
  20. ben, 8/11/2004 0 comments
  21. William, 8/10/2004 1 comments
  22. ben, 8/09/2004 1 comments
  23. ben, 8/09/2004 0 comments
  24. ben, 8/09/2004 0 comments
  25. William, 8/09/2004 0 comments
  26. William, 8/09/2004 0 comments
  27. ben, 8/06/2004 0 comments
  28. William, 8/06/2004 0 comments
  29. William, 8/06/2004 0 comments
  30. ben, 8/06/2004 1 comments
  31. ben, 8/05/2004 0 comments
  32. ben, 8/04/2004 1 comments
  33. ben, 8/02/2004 0 comments

8/27/2004

Almost as exciting as the day the new phonebook arrives, the draw for the UEFA Cup is here!

It's like the B-level tournament of Europe thanks to the Champions' League, but the beauty of this tourney is that it's not full of Man. Us and Real Madrids.

Teams to look out for (and by this I mean they have funny names):
Bodo Glimt
Aab Aalborg (must be a premium on showing up early in the phonebook in Denmark)
Trabzonspor
Odd Grenland
Banik Ostrava
Ventspils
Genclerbirligi
Heerenveen

and many, many more. Fun times. ben

8/26/2004 Add a comment

Reminiscing about the Little League World Series with Gary Sheffield. Fun read. Best tidbit: Heated arguments of use of the ping-pong table at the hotel fueled the rivalry between Sheffield's Tampa team and the Taiwanese nine.

On the patented Keys-tangent, only diehard Cubs fans will remember Ty Griffin, as I remember from collecting that damn 1989 Topps series, as the first round draft pick who never made it out of Double-A. Now where's Earl Cunningham, Mike Harkey, or the rest of these losers? ben

Comments

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8/24/2004 Add a comment

Tuesday Morning Quarterback returns this season to NFL.com. His season preview started last week with the AFC and this week with the NFC. Worthy of a bookmark! ben

Comments

  1. Anonymous join us: hmmm i like this 4/23/2014  
  2. Anonymous funny clips: you have a great blog i like it thanks for sharing it 11/16/2014  
  3. Anonymous funny cats: you have a great blog i like it. 11/16/2014  

8/24/2004 Add a comment

feeee-nomenal cartoon this week by Tom Tomorrow:

here.

Go read it! ben

Comments

8/23/2004 Add a comment

Do you think the robbers of Edvard Munch's "The Scream" thought too much about their plan beforehand? Unless they ransom it (a risky move in that they could easily get trapped) or trade it for other stolen goods from a black-market collector, they've pretty much got little chance to turn it into cash. My advice: keep it and put it on your wall as a constant reminder of your dark-heartedness.

It is pretty amazing that art museums have very little security to keep things like this from happening. At the British National Gallery, which I visited last weekend, there is so little security it's almost unbelievable. No entrance fee, just walk on in, a handful of plainclothes art monitors (who, if they are anything like the ones at the Musee d'Orsay in Paris, spend most of their time checking out women), very few security cameras, no motion-sensors and nothing keeping one from touching the art, spitting on the art, or even walking away with the art.

This whole thing makes me want to see this movie again. William

Comments

8/20/2004 Add a comment

this game is pretty fun. Be sure to use a mouse instead of a touchpad though, it's much easier that way. Give it a try. My high score is 3300, and I'm just getting warmed up... ben

Comments

  1. Anonymous Anonymous: i can't get that game to work. the page appears for a second and then it gives me a "file not found" screen. :(

    --duus     8/21/2004  
  2. Blogger William: 1705 so far, but it took me a while to get the timing right, and it's pretty difficult with the moving target. 8/23/2004  
  3. Blogger William: very next try, 3450. 8/23/2004  
  4. Blogger ben: duus, not sure what your problem was, the page is working for me fine.

    So fine I got a 4125. Boo-ya.     8/23/2004  

8/20/2004 Add a comment

How have I never heard of this guy before? Ray Ewry won the standing high jump competition in 1900 with a jump of 65 inches. That's right, one step and then 5 feet, five inches in the air. Unbelievable. This guy should be on the freakin' quarter or something, and yet no one has heard of him.

(Thanks for the link, Meghan!) ben

Comments

8/20/2004 Add a comment

You would think the Catholic church would have bigger things to worry about. But, no. They are disqualifying the first communion of an 8-year-old girl because the wafer she ate contained no wheat. Because she is allergic to wheat, Haley Waldman of Brielle, N.J., ate a rice wafer instead. In her words: "I'm on a gluten-free diet because I can't have wheat. I could die." Hmm... seems like a little bending of the rules could be made here. Y'know, for a church compassionate enough to move child-molesting priests to new parishes rather than ban them from the clergy. William

Comments

8/20/2004 Add a comment

Albert Pujols getting his due. He is, simply, the second-best player in baseball behind Barry Bonds, and he's just 24 years old. He is a special talent, one of those rare players who come along each generation. Of course, I know what Ben is going to say to this post. Ben is 8 years old. William

Comments

  1. Blogger ben: He might be good, but there's a lot of confusion over how to pronounce his name. Let's check the official webpage of the cardinals to see it written out phonetically:

    "name is pronounced POO-holes."

    from the cardinals official page.

    p.s. hee hee hee, I AM 8 years old.     8/20/2004  

8/19/2004 Add a comment

Great article from the Post about underwater violence in water polo. It appears that the wedgie is one of the most effective techniques. Who knew that the oldest of playground torture acts could be so useful later in life?

And for more butt pictures from this year's Olympic Games, my friends over at Littleboxes have the links. ben

Comments

8/19/2004 Add a comment

I'm sure this wasn't politically motivated at all: Error Puts Ted Kennedy on Airline No-Fly List.

Yeah, it only took THREE calls to Tom Ridge to get his name off the list, and the process took weeks. I'm sure this was some staffer's idea of a funny joke. My question is, what were the first two calls to Tom Ridge about? Which part of "get my name off that f'ing list" did he not understand?

(thanks for the link, Meghan!) ben

Comments

8/17/2004 Add a comment

"Terror" alerts at the games have provided very specific details.

The main target is Andy Roddick.

The weapon of choice is the lips.

The threat is the Australian women's water polo team.

And the reward is $500 for the first kiss.

Despite Roddick's efforts to stay safe, it sounds as though he's not too worried about it, as he was spotted playing Yahtzee and gambling on who would finish last in the swimming events. Pete Rose, eat your heart out.

Andy, please stay safe. Keep on winning the tough ones, and be sure someone is watching your back. ben

Comments

8/17/2004 Add a comment

Want to become a bank robber? Calvin Adams (right) stole $38,432 from 17 Washington-area banks last year without using a gun. One of his early lessons was getting the note right. His first draft ("Give me all the money out the register.") didn't get the job done, so he settled on this: "Give me all the bills out your register or some bodies are going to start dropping!!!" William

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8/17/2004 Add a comment

Sick and tired of paying retail for your burial needs? Suffer no longer. Costco is making a move into the casket business. Finally, discounted caskets for everyone! My only question is, do you have to buy them in bulk? Are three caskets going to come shrink-wrapped together? ben

Comments

8/16/2004 Add a comment

As always, whenever someone makes a list about something, I immediately look to the bottom for the compelling news story. Or to make fun of the guy in last place. Whichever.

On the bottom of the medal count (meaning you had to win at least one medal, sorry Bhutan) is Mongolia. Judo superstar Khashbaatar Tsagaanbaatar took home the Bronze in the Men's 60kg (132 pound) judo competition. Congratulations Khashbaatar, for being third-best* at kicking the crap out of other little men!

*Actually, he tied for third-best, as judo appears to have no playoff for third, in what other sports aptly call the "Bronze medal game". Inexplicable. ben

Comments

8/16/2004 Add a comment

The Washington Post Magazine has a huge profile of Jessica Cutler, aka Washingtonienne, the intern whose infamous blog described her sexual exploits on Capitol Hill.

Also from the WashPost Mag is a funny Weingarten column about McDonald's advertisements. In particular, he focuses on one that shows a woman eating another woman's salad. He accuses the first woman of "shockingly unethical behavior, stupidity, larceny, gluttony, sloth, envy, greed, cowardice, bearing false witness against a neighbor and littering." The McDonald's rep he talks to does not seem amused. William

Comments

8/13/2004 Add a comment

This is pretty huge. Iraq beats Portugal (A Euro 2004 finalist!) to open its Olympic competition. Granted, Figo wasn't in the lineup, but still. Also, a good column that tells what this means for the Iraqi people. William

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8/12/2004 Add a comment

Toys "R" Us might soon become Toys "R" Not. This is like, world-shattering. William

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8/11/2004 Add a comment

I'm not sure how I hadn't seen this before: McSweeney's has a page where Michael Ian Black has posted a few hilarious articles. Mostly writing on the topic of celebrity, but also on the important topic of eating babies, Black (best known for work on NBC's "Ed" and "I love the 70s" and "I love the 80s" and probably "I love the 90s" on VH1) will likely have you laughing out loud. Damn funny guy. I wish there were more posts on there. ben

Comments

  1. Blogger William: Even better is Winnie the Pooh is my co-worker on the McSweeney's home page. 8/12/2004  
  2. Anonymous Anonymous: what's up ben! man, i really don't think michael ian black is funny. i gave those articles the old college try, but i just feel like he is really predictable. check this out though, pretty funny:
    http://kintera.sitestream.com/ferrell_qt_hi.mov -- brandon     8/12/2004  

8/11/2004 Add a comment

Dems are from Costco, Republicans are from Walmart. The latest silly red state / blue state theory from Slate, with a bit of truth to it, of course. ben

Comments

8/10/2004 Add a comment

With Alan Keyes set to run against Barack Obama to become Illinois' junior senator, it was only a matter of time before someone put up an eBay listing advertising a napkin Keyes used to wipe sweat off his brow during his announcement. The fact that it's fetching $455 with 8 days left is what's really disturbing. (via Wonkette) William

Comments

  1. Blogger ben: From Talkingpointsmemo.com:

    Today Keyes attacked Obama for taking the "slaveholder's position" by voting against a ban on late-term abortion which had no exception for protecting the life of the mother.

    "I would still be picking cotton if the country's moral principles had not been shaped by the Declaration of Independence," Keyes said. Obama, he said, "has broken and rejected those principles -- he has taken the slaveholder's position."

    When asked about the "slaveholder" comment, Obama told the AP that Keyes "should look to members of his own party to see if that's appropriate if he's going to use that kind of language."     8/10/2004  

8/09/2004 Add a comment

A sitcom based around ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption"? That's right, it's called Listen Up, it's going to air on CBS on Monday nights this fall, and it stars Jason Alexander as Tony Kornheiser (on the show Tony Kleinman) and Malcolm Jamal Warner as Michael Wilbon (for t.v., that's "Bernie Widmer"). It's supposedly based on actual writings of Kornheiser.

I bet it's a disaster, but who knows. I'm still looking for the right network exec to pitch "Monkeys and Old People Island" to, the game show where monkeys compete with old people for valuable prizes. ben

Comments

  1. Anonymous funny gifs: hmm, i like it 3/17/2014  

8/09/2004 Add a comment

The New York Times tries to wrap its head around the Cult of the Big Lebowski. A noble effort, even if it doesn't do the film complete justice. While they threaten that the cult of the Big Lebowski is going mainstream, writing about it in the NEW YORK FRICKIN' TIMES certainly helps.

Also, it now appears that I earn coolness points in widely disparate circles for my frequent quoting of lines like "Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women!" and "Does the Pope shit in the woods?" and "Calmer than you are dude, calmer than you". ben

Comments

8/09/2004 Add a comment

With all of the debates in the architectural world about how to replace the WTC sites, a midwestern debate on a slightly smaller scale has been woefully overlooked in the media. It's disappointing to see that the Rock 'N Roll McDonald's in Chicago is going to be replaced with a tame in-house redesign, instead of some of the adventurous plans presented by top architects. Be sure to click on the photo gallery on the left for the creative designs that were passed over. Too bad McDonald's thinks that retro for retro's sake is cool. ben

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8/09/2004 Add a comment

I missed this before, but Bruce Springsteen "wrote" an op-ed for the NYT about his support for Kerry. (via Wonkette) William

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8/09/2004 Add a comment

Several interesting things today (and yesterday):

The NYT Mag has a feature on the diets of several Athens-bound athletes. The triathlete and the weightlifter each eat 5,000 calories, and the synchronized swimmer eats 2,500.

In the Washington Post, the wonderful Mike Allen has a funny take on the Bush family trip to church in Kennebunkport. It includes the minister making fun of Bush the elder.

Also in the Post, how do hurricanes get named? And what if you wanted to name one after an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend? William

Comments

8/06/2004 Add a comment

Take off your scuba gear...A geographer now claims that the mythical lost city of Atlantis is actually Ireland. Talk about a party-pooper. Come on man, let us continue to pointlessly search underwater for the buried treasures of this "lost" civilization. Oh well, the next Guinness is on me! ben

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8/06/2004 Add a comment

Wonkette is totally ripping on Brookings RAs. Like Homer Simpson says, it's funny because it's true. William

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8/06/2004 Add a comment

I have been meaning to do this for awhile, but I am changing the "daily read" of ESPN's Page 2, to the new Sports Guy's World website. Page 2 has slipped, I think, and the Sports Guy has gotten better (and more frequent) since he stopped working for Jimmy Kimmel. Though ESPN's Page 3 just released a database of at-bat songs for all MLB teams' starting lineups. Plus, Peter Gammons has semi-decent musical taste.

Also, on the "weekly reads," I've added the fledgling occasional blog of my friend and former editor Daniel G. "Danny" Habib, SI's junior baseball writer and a rising star. William

Comments

8/06/2004 Add a comment

CNNSI posts their list of the Top 10 Most Embarrassing TV/Radio Interview Moments by athletes and coaches. A must read. My favorites are the Lee Elia tirade on Wrigley's bleacher bums, back when the cubs had horrible fan support (#4 on their list), the "playoffs?!?" meltdown of Jim Mora (#7) , and of course, the immortal exchange between Jim Rome and LA Rams QB Jim Everett where Rome insisted on calling him Chris Evert and Everett insisted on kicking Rome's ass (#2). I saw that one live somehow back in 1994 and it blew me away. What's your favorite? What did they leave off the list? ben

Comments

  1. Blogger William: Sorry I have been so remiss in posting. I've been very busy this week. I'll do better soon! In any case, there are a few things missing from this list. One, is the Mike Tyson "eat your children" interview. The other is Bobby Knight telling Jeremy Schaap that he isn't the journalist his father was.

    And on a personal note, there was the time Doug Collins chewed me out when I kept asking him about Michael Jordan and the next year (after Jordan had a season-ending knee injury) when he wanted to talk about the Wizards slim-to-none hopes of making the playoffs that year on the back of Kwame Brown, et al.     8/06/2004  

8/05/2004 Add a comment

Set your VCRs and TiVos and watch The Daily Show next Monday night, as the guest will be Bill Clinton. No, I'm not making this up. ben

Comments

8/04/2004 Add a comment

It's not as uproariously hilarious as one might think, but Will Ferrell's new online ad for America Coming Together is damn funny, and has some great little moments that you might miss if not paying close attention, including the president playing game boy and the president calling a horse a puma. Damn he does a great impression. ben

8/02/2004 Add a comment

There are so many things that are difficult to explain to children: the 9/11 attacks, where babies come from, and now this: the Red Sox trade of Nomar Garciaparra. It sounds like young Bostonians aren't too happy with the trade that bagged the Red Sox two gold-glove fielders in Doug Mientkiewicz and Orlando Cabrera in exchange for their beloved No-mah. Other Boston sports experts agree that this was a bad deal for the BoSox. Still other columnists argue that it was time for Nomar to go. Wife Mia Hamm says that the trade was for the best, whatever that means.

And one reaction that shouldn't surprise anyone: Bostonians quickly turn to Tom Brady and the Pats for their hero worship and relief.

For all the details from the Boston side of things, turn to the Globe's Special Section on the trade.

On the North Side of Chicago, there is much more unity in response to the deal. The trade "breathed life into the Cubs offense". Another columnist says that Cub fans should feel bad for fleecing Boston GM Theo Epstein and calls the trade the "ultimate no-brainer" from the Cubs side. The Cubs kept their top three minor league prospects and didn't lose any quality pitchers.

But is Nomar already the new Mr. Cub? Let's see him carry the Cubbies to the playoffs and then sign a long-term contract before we make a ruling. ben

Comments